me: pets my dog so gingerly and sweetly as to not hurt his delicate puppy bones
my dog: headbutts me in the ass so hard i go flying forward three feet and smashes my head against the hardwood
the warrior cats subreddit sure is a trip
when you’re going 10 over the speed limit but the driver behind you is still riding your bumper
sees cat being naughty and scoops him up: This is a disciplinary hug. Do not derive joy from it.
naughty cat: purrs loudly